MKE #2 – Week 22

Geeez! Although i have been through this course last year,

i realley needed this to be repeated to me today,

because i was writing in my journal asking

something of the same questions

“what am i afraid of and why do i feel this way?”

My focus on that one thing that is what

“I’ realley wants, i have been feeling the urge,

inner pull of the person i intend to become

telling me that what i am putting my energy into is

“Not mine” not part of the plan of action of my dreams.

Today, and just now i was realizing that and suddenly

what i was writing and davenne started speaking was in harmony.

I am passionate about something that requires my permisson to accept,

and i need not feel guilty for following my bliss,

and dharma instead of being a slave of the ego,

trying to do everything and help everyone,

but when i look in the mirror no matter how much i do for everyone else,

i feel guilty because the gal in the glass is staring me down

and i have been slighty aware of trying to avoid her gaze,

but i will die with my music still in me if i persist playing roles

for the world instead of being my authentic self.

She knows this and yet my comfort zone is like a growth on my back,

holding my hands around that burning kettle as i attempt to follow my bliss,

bringing up every reason to run from pain,

but i get to choose again and it wont be pain for my dreams and pleasure for its bygone,

allowing my comfort zone to stay alive, no its permission is gone now and given to my future self,

take what is required,

my permission, commitment and renewed focus,

all for my hearts desire,

hedgehog style!

I am not a copy,

or controlled by guilt conditioning,

although i am aware of its effect to help me condition as a millstone.

I am capable of so much more,

and i release control to the universal working through me as an open channel,

i lay it all down and the webinar brings me to my knees again and again.

the awe of what is unexplainably so synchronistic and  the universe is so humbling,

i surrender,

becuase i can feel its power next to mine and i am but a tiny piece,

in awe of my own self’s being of the same in kind and quality as yours,

and the whole of everything.

i know myself,

and everytime i forget the reconciliation blows me away,


Maybe that is why i play this game over and over.


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