MKE #2 – Week 8
I Am here.
This is all i know.
Im quite sure where here is except in relation to what i have decided and chosen to believe.
Why am i here?
I don’t have a clear answer.
I think it could be any reason i choose.
So maybe the question
What do i want?
Will fill the void of both these points of wonder.
So what do i want, really.
I Am not completely sure of it yet.
Although I am open to hearing all the possibilities of what may become of my life,
i can hear the inner voice whispering to me that no one outside seems to hear.
This voice is my heart and i think it is leading me, guiding me and telling what i really want,
why i’m really here.
Over and over again the message i interpret from this pulsating network of nerves
seems to be saying
I feel, with no label.
feelings that cannot be described, i can and do attempt to explain
and transfer my awareness to the others
Yet i have no idea how i can be sure they have seen through my eyes
and felt what my heart beats through my existance
like a cosmic drum.
“How can they ever really know?”
Perhaps it is to labor in vain,
trying to get them to know how i feel,
what i think,
when i myself am not entirely sure.
My mind wants to pretend
and trick my lips into to speaking the words
“i know what i am doing.”
“I know what i am.”
“i know everything!”
Alas, My heart
is the constant seeker of the source from which i validate these bold thoughts.
“Who am i?”
What am i?
Why am i
Where am i
When am i
Am i at all?
Constantly seeking validation for my existance
and a good reason that allows me to
think i am important.
“Am i important?”
How am i important.
What is important to me?
If i am here.
I can experiment in this world.
Do i need to follow the paths already forged
or can i forge my own.
Maybe i can imagine my way through life
creating doors in the walls
nobody else was ever crazy enough to
try and open.
Do i spend my life trying to get those blind
to what only i can see and feel to notice?
Or do i let the leaves be free to fall where they spiral down to.
Nothing can keep them from doing their dance.
The one thing they were designed to do.
In the fall time.
My will cannot control their destiny.
I cannot stop them.
Not One leaf.
And maybe neither can they stop themselves from falling.
Programmed to fall.
Such ideas provide a sigh of relief.
Are we all just following a pre-set path?
Maybe I Am Leading, yet also being led.
The student of teachers and the teacher of students.
Must i try so hard?
Does the falling leaf try to fall or
can i just let go and
inspire others in an effortless dance
i was designed to fulfill.
Can i stop myself from falling?
Falling into my dreams.
Like i do every night,
on a pillow.
When My eyelids grow heavy enough
it seems almost nothing can stop them
I do not try to lead and i do not try to follow.
I just observe the subtle pulling of my heartstrings.
Where they are pulling me,
allowing myself to follow.
The leader is my own heart.
and i am a devoted follower.
Not a leader of others,
let them follow the beat of their own drums.
and i will not try to listen to what i am not meant to hear.
No one else can hear the call of my heart.
The Only voice that calls to me from within.
These dancing steps it has laid out come effortless to me
and perhaps nothing can stop me
or you from doing
we were designed to do.
So why waste my time trying to teach you
what i can never know?
Why try to learn what nobody can ever teach me
but my heart.
I must be quiet now.
to listen closely.
Allow my heart to lead.
Lead me to my dreams…
It is the only thing i want to follow.