6

MKE #2 – Week 8

I Am here.

This is all i know.

Im quite sure where here is except in relation to what i have decided and chosen to believe.

Why am i here?

I don’t have a clear answer.

I think it could be any reason i choose.

So maybe the question

What do i want?

Will fill the void of both these points of wonder.

So what do i want, really.

I Am not completely sure of it yet.

Although I am open to hearing all the possibilities of what may become of my life,

i can hear the inner voice whispering to me that no one outside seems to hear.

This voice is my heart and i think it is leading me, guiding me and telling what i really want,

why i’m really here.

Over and over again the message i interpret from this pulsating network of nerves

seems to be saying

“i feel”.

I feel, with no label.

feelings that cannot be described, i can and do attempt to explain

and transfer my awareness to the others

around me.

Yet i have no idea how i can be sure they have seen through my eyes

and felt what my heart beats through my existance

like a cosmic drum.

“How can they ever really know?”

Perhaps it is to labor in vain,

trying to get them to know how i feel,

what i think,

when i myself am not entirely sure.

My mind wants to pretend

and trick my lips into to speaking the words

“i understand!”

“i know what i am doing.”

“I know what i am.”

“i know everything!”

Alas, My heart

is the constant seeker of the source from which i validate these bold thoughts.

It Asks

“Who am i?”

What am i?

Why am i

Where am i

When am i

Am i at all?

…..

Constantly seeking validation for my existance

and a good reason that allows me to

think i am important.

“Am i important?”

How am i important.

What is important to me?

If i am here.

Maybe.

I can experiment in this world.

Do i need to follow the paths already forged

or can i forge my own.

Maybe i can imagine my way through life

creating doors in the walls

nobody else was ever crazy enough to

try and open.

Do i spend my life trying to get those blind

to what only i can see and feel to notice?

Or do i let the leaves be free to fall where they spiral down to.

Nothing can keep them from doing their dance.

The one thing they were designed to do.

In the fall time.

My will cannot control their destiny.

I cannot stop them.

Not One leaf.

And maybe neither can they stop themselves from falling.

Programmed to fall.

Such ideas provide a sigh of relief.

Are we all just following a pre-set path?

Maybe I Am Leading, yet also being led.

The student of teachers and the teacher of students.

Must i try so hard?

Does the falling leaf try to fall or

can i just let go and

inspire others in an effortless dance

i was designed to fulfill.

Can i stop myself from falling?

Falling into my dreams.

Like i do every night,

on a pillow.

When My eyelids grow heavy enough

it seems almost nothing can stop them

from falling.

I do not try to lead and i do not try to follow.

I just observe the subtle pulling of my heartstrings.

Where they are pulling me,

allowing myself to follow.

The leader is my own heart.

and i am a devoted follower.

Not a leader of others,

let them follow the beat of their own drums.

and i will not try to listen to what i am not meant to hear.

No one else can hear the call of my heart.

The Only voice that calls to me from within.

These dancing steps it has laid out come effortless to me

and perhaps nothing can stop me

or you from doing

this dance

we were designed to do.

So why waste my time trying to teach you

what i can never know?

Why try to learn what nobody can ever teach me

but my heart.

I must be quiet now.

to listen closely.

Allow my heart to lead.

Lead me to my dreams…

It is the only thing i want to follow.

Click Here to Leave a Comment Below 6 comments
Brenda Buck - December 4, 2016

OMG! Kendra! This is magnificent! Every part of it! Oh, to BE the student of teachers, and the teachers of students…. Wow! Reading this brings me a Feeling of Pure Joy!

Reply
Deanna - November 23, 2016

I’ve been in deep pondering these past few weeks.
I sometimes feel my old blueprint start to question my motives to succeed.
I love this from your Post:

“Must i try so hard?

Does the falling leaf try to fall or

can i just let go and

inspire others in an effortless dance

i was designed to fulfill.”

This is lovely and it offers me the message to just let go and flow. To believe in my worth and the worth of all.
Namaste’ Kendra

Reply

Leave a Reply: