MKE #3 – Week 23 – Tapering off
As the end of a certain experience is imminent
I feel peptides activating in the absence of absolute certainty.
Is this the end?
Is that it, no more chances to do what I desire?
Is time up?
Lessons in detachment can be tricky.
Although I feel i would be content to simply
lay meditate in a detached state for eternity
I also feel pulled into little dreams
that emerge in my mind
something I would like to experience.
I have an overall idea of what I want and a whole lifetime
is comparable to one day within that life.
What do I want my whole life to reflect.
Is it over yet?
Can the day also end at anytime if my life is that unpredictable?
Scheduling could be a choice.
I could be living on any time table
yet I want to be in a certain timeline
associated with the world.
I am curious about others ways of being I have not tried yet.
Sometimes it seems like
I am jumping through hoops to maintain
composure or balance of my daily life.
I always make it to the next day
Its not that I don’t want to live
if I didn’t at all i’m sure i wouldn’t be here
right now typing this.
Its the peptides that continue the pattern where I
last left off.
Once momentum is going,
I don’t like to stop what is familiar
or change a habit
until I’ve initiated an innovation
than I adapt and am okay with it.
Routine sets in and I forget all else.
This is what my is for now…
I surrender to what I feel I must do
in this moment.